Yellow, world!

In my absence I:

• Cut my hair.
• Moved
• Changed Schools
• Learned to hide.
• Changed my music likes/dislikes
• Changed my "friends"
• Grew two inches
• Gained 5 pounds... (Not too proud about that)
• Developed a sense of emptiness not even a good ice cream can fix.
• Gone to M.R.H....

But, the past is behind me. Literally.

Consider this, my goodbye letter. My last post. La ultima. L'ultimo. An deireanach. The bye bye post. 


I, obviously, will miss being able to express myself without barriers. But it's just how life goes ya'know. Just 3 more years and I won't answer to anyone but myself. 


Okay, that's a major lie. I'll still have college to worry about and stuff but still! 


I've avoided saying "Good bye" for the last time but this is one of those "let it go, sweetie" moments. 


I'll miss this. Honestly, I will.
Hopefully when I'm older I'll look back at this and think;
"LOL. what a crazy kid!" 
Naw, I'm playing.


Alright, well, no explanations. No apologizing. Just goodbye.


And if you're reading this right now I want you to know, 


It's over for you.
It's over for all of us.








Good night. Good bye.

Rest. In. Pieces. 

Leave me alone.

I'm busy packing.
And moving.
And wallowing in self pity.
So.
Leave me alone. 
Good night. And good bye. 

Find a funny picture of any celebrity and post it.

Step One-

New tab.

Step Two-

Google.

Step Three-

'Funny Celeb Pics' 

Step Four-

PASTE.

Step Five-

 lolololololol.

LOL. ANOREXIC.

*********************************************************************

Hey guys! What's up? Tomorrow is Emely's birthday. I'm not sure if I'll go or not. Possibly not. I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. She told me not to dress prettier than her so I have to dig deep into my closet to find something ugly. But.... Then again...... Who is she to tell me what to wear? ;D 

I'm not the type of person who is easily swayed by sob stories. Don't bother me with what you think is horrible and i won't bother you. Okay? 

Goodnight MY LOVE <3 

Outdoors.

Your favorite picture of trees or outdoors.



He's.... different.

Day 1: List your first and last name. List your birthday and your favorite year celebrating it.

Margaret A. Sanchez. October 31. Favorite year- When I turned 10. I got a ps1! :D 

Day 2: Write five things that not many people know about you.

1. I've learned to manipulate my teachers. 
2. When I'm at home I do old cheers.
3. I haven't laughed since the 5th grade. Like, honestly burst out laughing with my real laugh.
4. I have terrible migraines. 
5. My imaginary friend, Katy, left me. But she was a demon... :l 

Day 3: Create a list of your favorite things to do when you’re off from school.

1. Go on fuckfunfashion.tumblr.com <-- She is amazing. 
2. Blog.
3. Facebook.
4. Read.
5. Eat.
6. Clean my room by messing it up.
7. Read old letters.
8. Hear all types of music. And discover new ones(:
9. Stand in front of the mirror for exactly 10 minutes. Just staring at my reflection.
10. Eat some more.
11. Play with Adrian.
12. Playing Black Ops.
13. Walk around back and forth 13 times.
14. Lay in bed and stare at anything.  

Day 4: Write your outlook on drugs and alcohol.

I don't think there is anything wrong with Drugs and Alcohol. 

If it's your escape from this world, then, let it be. Although,

Everyone doubts that I drink. I don't care. Believe what you 

want. At the end of the day I'm 

the one whose drinking. Now, drugs. I don't care. 

I haven't tried drugs at all. Unless PainKillers count...?

Day 5: Discuss how you feel about homosexuals.

To me, love is love. No matter what the 

other person has, or doesnt have, in their pants.

Love is a thing in your head. Not in your pants.

Everyone should have the right to love and marry whoever they 

want because at the end of the day, their happiness

is what matters most. <3

Day 6: Tell your followers how you do your makeup.

Sorry. Stolen off of a site... :l I don't do my make-up anymore since im sick :l 

Day 7: Write about the person that means to most to you.

Adrian Alejandro Sanchez. That boy is the cutest thing on this earth. End of story. 

Day 8: Write your favorite book or movie and explain why.

Movie-

Donnie Darko. It's amazing! I will never understand why I love this movie as much as I do. Maybe its the concept. That every living thing on this earth will die alone. No matter what we do in life we will always die alone.

Book-

The devouring. It doesnt end happily. 

Day 9: Describe your favorite outfit.

My favorite outfit is the one I almost never use. Purple and black plaid skirt. Black tinkerbell shirt (it's not as lame as you think...) purple tights and a black belt over. Like, theirs no point to the belt there but ya'kno. I'll have it anyway. 

Day 10: Vent. About Anything. Let it all out.

Okay. 

Hmm... Let's see.....

I've been venting for a while now. So, just check down there!

In my previous post' 

I'm feeling picturesque. 

Night guys. 

End it already.

I was raised in a fake family.

Fake Smile.

Fake Relationship.

Fake happiness.

Fake everything.

I said the right things.

Did the right things. Then, suddenly , I just didn’t want to do that anymore. I got tired of being the ‘fake’ one of my group of friend. The one who was always smiling and always happy.  I need pills to survive and be normal just for a bit. They don’t help much. They never help much. Like now, I need something to calm me down. A knife wont do much. Nothing will do. It’s like, I do really good and then everything just falls apart. I don’t like being fake. I don’t like talking to teachers like everything is just fine and dandy when NOTHING is fine. Nothing is the way it should be. I’m not going to be nice to my teachers when ive had the worst day of my life. I hate school. I hate EVERYONE THERE. I wish I had a re-do button. I’d redo the day my mom got knocked the hell up and had me. Because, I obviously, was a mistake.

Sometimes i wish i had the courage to say no. But, that would mean i cared. I do care about something though. This. I care about my blog. And i care about how everyone acts strong. But inside they want to cry their eyes out. How you act like you hate this one person but on the inside you're dying to be their friend again. How you want to share stories because for at least 3 minutes you felt good with that person. They were your best friend. Your sister. Brother. Parent. 

Then, everyone just disappears. Nobody talks to anybody anymore. We all are in this war. My dad only talks to me when I'm in trouble. Or when his lazy ass doesnt want to get up and do something. Sure, blame it on the pain. Do you have to go to school knowing that behind your back people are ready to stab you with a knife? Like, literally. And, you have kids. a 2 year old and a 9 year old. You can forget me, I'm not your kid. You say joshua is his own person. That he's old enough to be responsible for himself. Now tell me how exactly is he going to go out and buy himself new pants because you refuse to buy him some? And new shoes. 

Me? I'm fine. I'm surviving off of clothing from the 6th freaking grade. 

I lied again. I'm not fine. My head is pounding. My heart feels stopped. It's hard to breathe. And this is all in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The voices. I suppose their in my head too huh? 

I need help. No, you know what I need? An adult. Someone I can spill my guts out to and they wont say anything. Not a stupid counselor who will tell me to move on. Someone like a parent. Who wont hit me the second I say something that is right. The children are always wrong, Priscilla. 

When I was a kid, I was soooo happy with whatever I had. I lived up to my parents' expectations. They never lived up to mine. Everyone use to say 'I wanna be like my mommy and Daddy when i grow up!' I don't. I actually want to be there for my kid. Not dump them for a random guy. No thank you. I'll pass. 

I was in the car today with her and that guy and i was imagining him and Jen. How happy he is with Jen and how I desperately with that he was like that with me. That he'd talk to me instead of yell. That he'd hug me instead of hit me. But that's not happening is it? Will I always be the rejected child? At school. At home. Everywhere.

I'm so skinny its ridiculous. I try and try to gain weight but it's not working out. I have 3,000 layers of bags under my eyes. Because I can never get enough sleep in between crying,crying, and worrying about tomorrow.  It's amazing how low my dad thinks I am. That im the worst child out there. Do i do drugs father? No. Yet he still gave me a drug test. Do i go out and party every god damn night? No. Yet i cant be let out of his damn sight. Do i get good grades? YES. For the past billion years i've kept my grades up through all the shit people put me through. 


He thinks this damn divorce hasnt impacted me???

Just please end it already. 

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll. Weed, Speed and Birth Control. Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let's get high

favorite food.

20 Day Photo Scavenger Hunt-

Favorite Food :D



Gosh darn im a fatass. :D

February 14, 2011.

Hey guys, it's Valentines day! :D
Fun huh! 


Alright, Tumblr Challenge. But, this one is ferreal. 

20 DAY PHOTO SCAVENGER HUNT

1. Post a photo of your favorite celebrity.
2. Post a photo of your favorite food.
3. Find your favorite picture of the trees or outdoors. 
4. Find a funny picture of any celebrity and post it.
5. Post a photo of your favorite fruit.
6. Post a photo of your favorite band.
7. Post your favorite photo. Ever. 
8. Post a random picture.
9. Post a picture of your favorite place to eat.
10. Post a picture of a landmark that you would love to visit.
11. Post a picture of a country you would love to go to.
12. Post a picture of your favorite clothing store.
13. Post a picture of your favorite article of clothing.
14. If you have a pet, post a picture of it.
15. Post a picture of an animal you would love to have as a pet.
16. Post a picture of something you crave often.
17. Post another random picture. 
18. Post a picture of the cast of your favorite TV show
19. Post the movie poster of your favorite movie.
20. Post a photo of your room.

Day One-

Ellen Page. Where do I start! I love this girl! She is the best celebrity out there <3 :D 

A suicide note.

Hey world, 


First off, don't worry about me. I'm in a better place you see. I have friends who care, parents who are there, and lots of happy things. There is no war where im going. No tears are shed. Momma, please don't throw away my bed. I slept there you see. It's a part of me. As for my clothes, give em away. Just make sure the people dont have to pay. It's not that I'm too unhappy, or your fault you see, my life is too complicated. Too complicated for me. 
Daddy, I hope you're feeling better. That your back doesnt hurt so much that you have to go to the hospital. I hope Adrian and Joshua are fine too. And, if my mom is pregnant now, i hope her baby dies. So she can feel what i felt when she left. 
Panda Bear, Hey. I don't know who you are. Or what you are. You're the first thing that popped into my head. 






Anyway, I'll finish this some other day .: #  

Similes.

Those words cut like a fresh blade on your flesh. The skin opening deeper and deeper. The blade feeling smooth on you. Thats what this feels like.

These words that just came out of her mouth. Simple words that most people would think nothing of.

This means the world to me. Maybe she did it for selfish reasons. But for now, I'll keep in my head that she's doing this for me. To keep me.

She might not be. UH oh. Danger zone. I'm going to kill him. There is glass on the floor. Someone is going to get slit. And thrown off a bridge. Soon. And I know who that someone is.

If he even dares to touch a hair on my mothers head, I will personally cut him with the glass she picked up from the ground.

A violent child aren't I ? Yes, I am. Most say I'm crazy. I'm not really. I just keep my anger bottled up so much. Then, when I release it, it's worse than hell. It's worse than a fucking Armageddon. And I don't even know what the fuck that means.

I bet you're dying to know what she said. And, well I'll tell you. She said she's moving out of this guys house. Remember all those times I said "he's such a perv" and shit. Well, it's him. I've never liked him. At all. Like, ever. And I'd be glad to say, I'm proud of her. For finally doing something right.


I'm itching to reach for that glass. Just dying. But I must not. No, I will. Right now. There- it is in my shirt pocket. I'm so glad. :) I feel safe now. With glass in my pocket. Wrist almost untouched. Not for long though. Not for fucking long.

15 day challenge :D

You know me.
I be lazy.

SO, I'm just going to do the 15 day challenge in ONE DAY.
Wow. I know.

15 basic facts about yourself-

1. -I'm changing schools in March.
2. -I have brown eyes that amaze me. 
3. -My hair is super thick, Yet it gets pin straight sometimes.
4. -I'm short.
5. -I'm skinny.
6. -I really hate the colour yellow.
7. -My insides are really messed up right now.
8. -I can say the alphabet backwards!
9. -Something I cant stand  is when people just randomly put you down.
10. -I am a size 6,7,8 in shoes :D Haha,
11. -I'm really lazy. But, i get things done.
12. -I don't miss people. But i say i do.. 
13. -My feet are really cold right now.
14. -I love bacon crispyy. :D 
15. It took me exactly 15 minutes to complete this.

14 not so basic facts about yourself-

1. I have an obsession with Donnie Darko.
2. I still talk to my ex almost every day.
3. My dad and me dont get along very well.
4. Tomorrow is what im scared of.
5. I listen to all types of music.
6. I draw but i suck at it
7. Im getting a tattoo of an eye with the number 13 in it.
8. Blogging use to be my only escape. Now i have others.
9. I've lost a lot of friends in the past 5 months. And idgaf. :) 
10. I'm going out with a boy named Chris.
11. I've cut myself around 590 times. Yeah. I counted.
12. I'm proud of who I am <3
13. My favorite number is 13. It has been since i Was 5.
14. Frosted Flakes is my favourite cereal. :P

13 ways you break the ice-

Skipping this because I'm just amazing like that. 

12 Signs you're into some one-

1. I start stuttering around them (like., wtf. How old am i -__-) 
2. My heart falls outta my chest when i see him.
3. They;re the only thing on my mind.
4. I get really nervous and stay away.
5. They're the only thing on my mind.
6. The mere mention of his name will make me meltt<3
7. I'll smile like an idiot.
8. I'll try to stay as far away from them as possible. Just to avoid looking like an idiot.
9. I wont look them in the eye
10. Ill talk to him a bit more than usual.
11. Hugs always involved :D 
12. I'll just be.... Margaret. But a bit more.... Girly :D 

11 signs you're not into someone-

1. I will give you sentences like this..
2. i will try to avoid them.
3. I'll talk with no emotion.
4. Obviously, try to stay as far as possible.
5. Ignore you.
6. Look directly into their eyes and speak harshly
7. Well, yeah. Its pretty much summed up already.

10 things you do when you're bored-

1. Blog :)
2. Write :)
3. Eat! Duh!
4. Go on Opinionaded :)
5. Cut (Oops, too much honesty for you???)
6. Hear music.
7. Draw.
8. Facebook.
9. Dance in my room 
10. Read. 

9 things that make you happy-

1. Blogging :D
2. My brothers 
3. Music!
4. When you hear "I love you"
5. Dancing without caring :D 
6. Talking to people I havent talked to in a while.
7. Remembering old memories.
8. Talking to old palls :D 
9. Being home alone :P 

8 things you're known for-

1. My arm.
2. The people I've dated.
3. My ridiculous sayings XD
4. The way i stand! 
5. How skinny I am but i eat like a pig!
6. How much i read.
7. My technological skillz :D
8. My weird sense of fashion. Tie, Glasses, Poshh kid <3 

7 things you wanna do :D - 

1. Live before I die <3 
2. Write a novel mofo :D 
3. Tell these losers that they're not all that.
4. Get smashheddd :D Haha.
5. Get kissed in  the rain. Even tho its nasty.
6. GO to paris.
7. Trash a house <3 

6 things you'll never do- 

1. Heroine. 
2. Ecstasy.
3. Any other drug that ill be fucked up royally with. 
4. Murder
5. Rape someone in the back of a truck. Thats just messed up bro. Err'one knows you do it in the front ;D
6. Cheat on a cheater with another cheater.

5 good things about you

1. I'll act stupid to make you happy.
2. I can make people smile :D
3. I can write!
4. I can read like 10 books a day :)
5. I'll attempt to be your friend. :)

4 bad things about you

1. I have bi-polar disorder. -_______-
2. I smoke. :l Trying to quit tho.
3. I cut. yeah, not really going to give that up.
4. When I'm writing i tend to turn it into cursive and it comes out as squiggly lines. Haha xD

3 ways to make you cry-

1. Tell me you hate me.
2. Hit me like my dad does.
3. Basically say things that are horrid. Words scar more than wounds. 

2 ways to win your heart-

1. Be a hopeless romantic <3
2. Tell me lies, lies, and even more lies <3 

1 thing you need to say

This is going to be pretty long sorry. 

One thing I really need to say is- I don't want to die. I'm scared out of my mind of death. Just the mere mention of that word terrifies me. I really dont want to die :l 

I want to live. 

<3 

Ill work on this On Saturday

Hey Guys, Hey.

14 DAY PIERCE THE VEIL CHALLENGE.

1. Post your favorite lyrics of PTV, but in form of a picture.
2. Favorite song, explain why.

My favorite pierce the veil song has to be "Chemical Kid and Mechanical Bride" Why? Well, because it was the first song i heard from Pierce The Veil. It was the song that started it all <3 

1. Your favorite picture of the whole band.
2. 
   
3. 
4. Draw them or your favorite person of the band.

I'll work on this! 

1. Favorite video.

Favorite Video Is Deff Caraphernelia. 

1. Favorite Mike picture

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. 
   
4. 
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. WORK ON THIS MANANA.
9.  
10. 
    
11. 
    
12. Favorite random video of them.

1. Are you willing to see them / have you seen them? If you have, post a picture and explain it and tell us about it. If you haven’t explain how you will like it to be.
2. Favorite Vic picture.
3. Favorite Jaime picture.
4. A letter to the band; handwritten.
5. Favorite Tony picture.
6. Your favorite song from “Selfish Machines”
7. Favorite song from “A flair from the dramatic”

Fake, Fake, Fake.

Silly girl, last time I checked n o b o d y likes you ;D 

Kso, apart from school crap that ISNT WORTH MY TIME :D Hehehe. 

Talking to Sabrina on facebook. She's bringing me lollipops. <3 

So, whats up? 

Anyway, on to my day! 

Went to dinner with jen, my dad, josh, and moi. (and, her....)

Ate like a pig! As usual. Haha.

Got the news that IM MOVING BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH<3

So, i really want my ipod back . Lykk. Badly. 

Ugh. my lungs are being murdered. 

Night loves.

You Dirty Little Secret.

I can't help it.
But, i must.
I really don't like you.
So, i will.


Be prepared Sweetie ;D 

"I should have known the tides were getting so big, honey, their drowning us out there" 

Pills, Alcohol, Smokes and COFFEE. <3 

Naw, jk, I'm off of that shyyt. 

Who told you.  

MEGA.

THE COUNT AND SIDEN <3 

Listen to it.

You will instantly fall into a whole new world. 

Where, nothing else matters.

There is only m.e.g.a.

Haha, I got good music taste. 

Hahahahaha. 

Alrighty, you. It's time foar the confrontation. 

GET.

THE.

HELL.

OUTTA.

MY.

LIFE.

IF

YOU

ARE

JUST

GOING.

TO.

BITCH'

AND

DISS.

CUZ.

TBH,

I DON'T NEED YOU. 

Kay? 

Alright. Good. 

Finally finished my homework. Feeling quite proud of meh' self. 

Hai, guise, wus up? :D 

YO.

Facebook l33t sp3@k !$ @m@z!nq

Back to the subject at hand. Naw, bro, let's not start a band. Cuz ya see, IT'll mostly be me. 

I'll take your pride, Joy, and fame!

Uh uh honey, stay outta the game.

Damn. How lame.

You put me to shame.

Sup n00bz. 

Nun much. Raidin' 4chan . ;D 

Dude, wtf is he doing talking to me.

Better yet, WTF is SHE doing talking to me. No, honey, and you call me two faced. Bad enough i have to see ONE of those faces. Yeee bruh, you. no. not you. the one holding the taco!!!!!!

Listen, it's 11:19. Gotta splitt it. 

Night Night. 

Keep

Calm and Carry on

Or better yet!

Put the kettle on ;D 

Shh honey, we're almost there.

I can't believe I've made it here

today i'm afraid of yesterday

I wrote this letter to you, my dear

incase i'm afraid it fades away

I say baby, 

babe i've loved you a long time

i try harder just to know you're all mine

I say baby, 

babe i've loved you a long time

i grow happy knowing 

that you're alright <3 

Yes, It's true, I love you. 

Oh! Hey! Didn't see you there! Sorry, must have been busy wallowing in self pity! Haha. Jokes, Jokes. So, How are you guys today? Or, well... How have you been for the last month? I've been a total butt! :( Sorry! 

I see the way that you act

Im not impressed.

I see the way you pretend to be

SOOO collect.

You're out of your

m i n d. 

Explanation: 

Here is what happed: I was minding my own business walknig down the streets of n e w y o r k and like out of nowhere a KIDNAPPER ATE ME! Can you belive it??????? No? Well, good! Because that's not what happened. So, Yah'see. I've been a bad girl. But, those days are behind me. I'd like to keep my lungs happy and pink! Haha.So, i got in a bit of trouble with my dad. But i guess we're in the chill-ish mood now. So, that's why. I got "grounded" w\hich meant n o b l o g. How i did it i don't know.,

Yo, I cant sing. But, yah'kno . I feel like

f r e a k i n g 

SINGING<3

 THIS TIME ITS COMING BACK AROUND<3 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Listen, now, really listen. I have a question for you. What would you do if the people you love keep getting hurt? And, you could help them, but you're wayyyy to vain to help them. Selfish much? Why, yes! Yes, I AM.

Does it offend you, yeah? 

*******************************

Note from school- 

Another nosebleed. It hurts to walk. My head is pounding like wood on drums. Im sitting in the office. On a dull grey bed. It looks like a doctors office. 

To be finished.

later <3 

- Keep on dreaming honey. 

And never give it up <3